ANd so I present the verses I came up with here; they are meant to be set to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it" (irony, I know):
If they're bad and you know it,
Yell for Chris
If they're Bad and you know it,
Yell for Chris
If they're bad and you know it,
And you really shouldn't stow it,
If they're bad and you know it,
Yell for Chris
If your parts are full of splay,
Go tell Chris
If your parts are full of splay,
Go tell Chris
If your parts are full of splay,
Oh, just think what Jeff will say,
If your parts are full of splay,
Go tell Chris
If your parts are gettin' shorts,
Yell for Chris
If your parts are gettin' shorts,
Yell for Chris
If your parts are gettin' shorts,
And its screwin' your reports,
If your parts are gettin' shorts,
Yell for Chris
Is it scrap? You can't decide
Go find Rose
Is it scrap? You can't decide
Go find Rose
Is it scrap? You can't decide
You better set that shit aside
Is it scrap? You can't decide
Go find Rose
If you can't get no decent parts,
Best find Chris
If you can't get no decent parts,
Best find Chris
If you can't get no decent parts,
And scrap is goin' off the charts,
If you can't get no decent parts,
Best find Chris
If your parts all look like shit,
You work for Hicks
If your parts all look like shit.
You work for Hicks
If your parts all look like shit,
And everyone's just sick of it,
If your parts all look like shit,
You work for Hicks
And now the couple verses that I was a little unsure of:
If Doofie's bein' crass,
Talk to Chris
If Doofie's bein' crass,
Talk to Chris
If Doofie's bein' crass,
And you just want to kick his ass,
If Doofie's bein' crass,
Talk to Chris
If your totes are different sizes,
Shout for Chris
If your totes are different sizes,
Shout for Chris
If your totes are different sizes,
Find the guy who supervises,
If your totes are different sizes,
Shout for Chris
... I need to occupy my time better.